It’s great to know stuff – knowledge is power and the benefits of crystallized intelligence are many, but the reality is that the more you know, the more opportunities you have to be wrong.
I have a bit of a perverse relationship with knowing. I LOVE to be right – I’m right a lot (just ask my family they will tell you how often I tell them I’m right 😇 ). When I’m really honest with myself I actually love being wrong more. I mean, I don’t love being wrong, but learning from being wrong is much more fun. It’s often when we are wrong that the biggest insights occur. It’s also a lot more funny to be wrong than it is to be right, and it reinforces my belief that my life is a comedy.
A few things I know that I learned were wrong just this week
- A big reason for the paygap is the fact women don’t negotiate salary well (or early in their career) – WRONG! This was true in the past but is no longer true.
- Women choose fields that pay less and this is why they are paid less – [Mostly] WRONG! – when women move into high paying fields pay goes down.
- Women just need to get high status sponsors – [Mostly] WRONG! In fact, women can be penalized by seeking high status networks and sponsors.
Each of these on their own are interesting, taken together it causes me to ask a different question – how much of the entire playbook on leadership development is built with the assumption that what works for men will also work for women.
Take a minute with that one – I’ll wait.
This is a productive failure that finds me [reluctantly] quoting Annie Hall “everything our parents said was good is bad“. Everything we know needs a nuanced re-think and most importantly, more data. I suspect this goes well beyond leadership development.
Amy wondered if I was wrong also about the discussion on self vs. other care this week. It’s possible other care is more urgent and helpful for men but might be already an over invested area for women. Maybe we’re projecting.
Maybe I’m wrong.
But I will say this – I’m very curious and I hope you are too. We all need to embrace being wrong more and use it to our advantage. One thing is true, we will likely get many chances to practice.
Meg Bear 